The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:

  1. Foreploy: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.

  2. Fortissimoe: the musical moment produced when someone serially slaps the faces of the first-violin section.

  3. Tatyr: a lecherous Mr. Potato Head.

  4. Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.

  5. Giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high, such as the famous "Surrender Dorothy" on the Beltway overpass.

  6. Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.

  7. Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers.

  8. Coiterie: a very VERY close-knit group.

  9. Whitetater: a political hot potato.

  10. Impotience: eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription.

  11. Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly.

  12. Inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

  13. Hipatitis: terminal coolness.

  14. Taterfamilias: the head of the Potato Head family.

  15. Guillozine: a magazine for executioners.

  16. Suckotash: a dish consisting of corn, lima beans and tofu.

  17. Burglesque: a poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate)

  18. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

  19. Glibido: all talk and no action.

  20. Antifun gal: a prude.

  21. Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room.

  22. Eunouch: the pain of castration.

  23. Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at Buckingham palace.

  24. Deifenestration: to throw all talk of God out the window.

  25. Hozone: the area around 14th street.

  26. Acme: a generic skin disease.

  27. Dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

  28. Hindprint: indentation made by a couch potato.

  29. Intaxication: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

  30. Newtspaper: the Washington Times.

  31. Nazigator: an overbearing member of your carpool.