The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asks readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:
- Foreploy: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining
- Fortissimoe: the musical moment produced when someone serially slaps the
faces of the first-violin section.
- Tatyr: a lecherous Mr. Potato Head.
- Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your
- Giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high, such as the famous
"Surrender Dorothy" on the Beltway overpass.
- Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who
doesn't get it.
- Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in
- Coiterie: a very VERY close-knit group.
- Whitetater: a political hot potato.
- Impotience: eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription.
- Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly.
- Inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Hipatitis: terminal coolness.
- Taterfamilias: the head of the Potato Head family.
- Guillozine: a magazine for executioners.
- Suckotash: a dish consisting of corn, lima beans and tofu.
- Burglesque: a poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate)
- Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad
vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
- Glibido: all talk and no action.
- Antifun gal: a prude.
- Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room.
- Eunouch: the pain of castration.
- Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at Buckingham
- Deifenestration: to throw all talk of God out the window.
- Hozone: the area around 14th street.
- Acme: a generic skin disease.
- Dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come
at you rapidly.
- Hindprint: indentation made by a couch potato.
- Intaxication: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
- Newtspaper: the Washington Times.
Nazigator: an overbearing member of your carpool.