WRITING PAGE:

Writers' Hall of Fame

Sarah Jordan -- Sarah's paper is especially strong for: originality and nuance of thesis (see rule 5 below), sticking closely to the thesis (rule 1), and clarity of writing (rule 2)
Prescott Johnson -- Prescott has a very original thesis (rule 5) and argues carefully from step to step (rule 3)
Tayo Akingbe -- Tayo's paper is especially strong for her logical reasoning (rule 3).  Note how not a single step is left out in her string of observations.  Note also how tightly she focuses on her thesis.  (rule 1)
Marjie Rosenfelt -- Marjie is solid all around, especially for avoiding paper-ese (rule 2).  You can hear her own individual voice in each turn of phrase.
Bianca Buccitelli -- Note Bianca's originality (rule 5) and focus (rule 1).
Catharine Hill -- Note Catie's clarity (rule 4) her focus on her thesis (rule 1) and her good use of evidence (tons of it!).
 

A Few Fundamentals

• 1) Don't allow yourself to wander from your thesis.
• This can never be repeated enough.  If you find yourself wanting to say things outside what your thesis suggests, then go back and revise the thesis so that it can accomodate your new and interesting thoughts.  I never know fully what my thesis is until I'm done writing.  I start with something and then revise, revise, revise, as I'm writing.
• 2) Use your own voice; avoid "paper-ese."
• 1) "After ten years of wandering, homeward Homer's hero finally comes."
• 2) "Odysseus comes home after ten years of wandering."
English almost always works better with a subject, verb, object word order.  When you deviate from this, you will draw attention to the sentence and to thing that are displaced.  Make sure you want to do so.  While sentence #1) sure sounds fancy, one wonders why all the twists and turns? why not just say what you're talking about?
• 3) Argue all steps of your reasoning
• Homer says it's light out. (Iliad 2.988)  So he's in his tent cooking spagetti.
• Homer says it's light out. (Iliad 2.988)  Homer told us earlier that whenever it's light out, he is in his tent cooking spagetti. (Iliad 1.877)  So he's in his tent cooking spagetti.
Sentence #1) leaves out the connecting logic.  You can't assume your reader knows this string of evidence or argument, so you need to fill it in in meticulous detail.
• 4) Avoid passive constructions and abstract nominalizations.  This is more than just a style issue, it keeps your thinking clear and crisp.  Note the difference:
• 1) "The visions of dreams were thought to be spirits."
• 2) "Homer thought of dreams as spirits."
While it's much easier to write a flabby sentence like # 1), such a sentence leaves several things out.  Most important, it omits the person or thing that DID the action.  Leaving out the actor allows the writer to get away with a half-formed thought.  Sentence #1) also shows how easy it is to slip into making large abstract subjects (watch out for -tion words!) and then putting them at the head of a sentence with a weak verb (like "is").  This is usually a red flag.  It means that you're jamming up your noun ideas and not saying enough ABOUT your noun -- choose an active verb and you'll say a lot more about your subject (either its condition or its behavior).  Sentence 2) is clearer stylistically because it shows a more thoroughly considered idea.
• 5)  Choose your thesis wisely.
• Trust your original insights and instincts in choosing your thesis.  Struggle to come up with your own original idea by tracking down your hunches through careful re-reading.  You will find that with due care and attention you'll be able to come up with something really interesting.
• Don't fear nuance.  A thesis doesn't have to pick the black or white side of an issue.  Grey is always good.  This does NOT mean, however, wishy-washy argumentation.  When you find the shade of grey you really like, argue vigorously for it.